Winner - Christine Barreto
The exception to not use the bathroom might come when you find yourself in a holding cell with no toilet seat covering a metal basin stuffed up with toilet paper, leaving none. The balls of unwound tissue disarrayed around the cell floor start to become more and more appealing to use as insulation around your body as the air temperature feels somewhat close to freezing. After being transported with the other law breakers, trembling, not knowing if someone beside you is a killer, and feeling bare to your core when asked to bend over and cough as you are then processed and walked through the penitentiary to your cell block where you will spend the next days of your sentence. Still not having used the bathroom, in your cell you see a feces covered toilet, and lay down to wake in a nightmarish state to notice that you have not only felt this scary feeling that woke you up but have actually voided on yourself for the first time in twenty (20) years. Wearing the only pair of clothing you own, cotton underwear and an orange jumpsuit, you will then begin to try and wash up the best you can, in a sink that only allows a limited amount of water out at a time, and takes two hands to operate, trying to rinse your under garment clean.
As you lay in your cell the demons to what lead you there are floating around your head and you can either entertain them or you can quietly pray for your freedom and the chance to right this wrong. Wishing you had something to help you feel like everything is going to be okay. Maybe a pencil, a piece of paper, a glass of water but there is nothing but solitude. Screams of angry woman and frustrations echo through the night, when you know you should be in a bed, tucked in after a hard day's work, not on the wrong side of the iron door that won't budge. This reminds you how dangerous you could have turned, how depressed and resentful you really are. What you have done lead you to prison, and what can you do that can lead you to a beautiful life instead.
After being released my heart was pacing so fast and I was struggling with addiction and my thoughts were scattered in all different directions. Do I lead myself back down to the spot where I can pick up drugs, that I hate to admit is where I might be walking towards unconsciously? Do I stop crying and walk into a program that can help? Yes! Listening to my heart and the God of my understanding saved my life. The little voice inside of me said that if I knew better things would be better. If I could learn the things needed to help others I would do so. Taking it back to what did I really want to be when I grew up? A thief? A drug addict? None of these at all, but actually, I wanted to be a doctor that could save the life of a child. Then it would seem impossible. My mind would never be able to comprehend I said to myself. I'm too old and too far out of school.
After the first orientation at the community college, I really felt that there was a change happening in my life. The positive energy lifted me up and motivated me making me feel that maybe I can do this. College was changing my life for the better. People, friends, and family were excited for me. Immediately after the remedial exams I knew that this learning institution was helping me. Higher learning was helping me soar. It feels like that saying, "knowledge is power", is really true if you feel powerless in the way things are going for you in your life. After I acquired my first twelve credits or so, I felt that my life was unchangeable. The person who I was in that cell prior had changed forever. Becoming a better person, more understanding, really were the effects of going to college. Feeling a part of, becoming a part of something, and continuing to study really changed my life. Even at work, having a better understanding and just some college, had already improved my communication skills and presentation values of projects assigned to me. These improvements lead to promotion after promotion. If I could go back I would have went directly after a bachelor's degree but striving to acquire my Associates in Applied Sciences Degree has made my life better. When I graduate I know there is an even better job there just waiting for me. Life is appealing and I am so grateful to the college initiative programs that helped me apply. I could not put into words how proud of myself that I am and how much appreciation I have for the people who told me that education was a possibility. College even changed the way I walk. Walking now with my head held up high and feeling more accomplished.
Runner Up - Ronnell McGill
"Proper education, proper speech..." As an eleven year old, I often heard my foster-parents stress the importance of education and possessing adequate communication skills. However, by the age of sixteen, I deviated from the path of moral uprightness, and traded in education and proper speech for ignorance and shame. Ultimately this would lead to my serving 15 years in the NYSDOCS.
At the beginning of my prison term education was only a tool to secure a work program that paid enough for me to be self-sufficient. So obtaining my G.E.D. was solely done to gain access to the Corcraft and kitchen/mess hall programs. For the next several years the yard, playing basketball, and being intellectually stagnated would be the name of the game.
My higher learning began in 2004. I was transferred to Eastern correctional facility, and began to interact with individuals who were students in the Bard college prison initiative program. I was also exposed to the language of braille as a result of being placed in the Largeprint program. While at Eastern, I participated in numerous workshops which helped the distant echoes of "Proper education, proper speech" become a loud mantra. A love for words would guide me toward poetry; learning about some of the various forms of the art. Theater allowed me to continue to develop language skills, while enjoying the thrill associated with all of the attention it garners.
However, it was while in Otisville correctional facility that I began to truly understand the importance of higher learning. I was among the fortunate ones who participated in the "Bridging the Gap" and "Social Change in Black and Latino Communities" program and elective course; offered through Vassar college. Classified as a special student and able to attend classes alongside Vassar students (in the confines of Otisville C.F., of course) allowed me to evolve intellectually. Professor Larry Mamiya challenged us to examine obstacles that hinder social change and placed strong emphasis on our developing solutions to combat social decay. This not only helped me acquire critical thinking skills, it showed me that my thoughts and ideas had relevance in the academic world. The class material exposed me to a wealth of information which enhanced my organizational skills, and provided me with a knowledge base that allowed me to speak from an informed point of view.
My heightened awareness and analytic skills also manifested itself in my ability to redefine the Inmate Liaison Committee at Otisville. Once seen as a joke, or individuals just looking to focus on commissary and receive perks associated with being an executive board member of the committee (free, new commissary items, going to all of the inmate organizations events for free, etc.). My being elected as chairman allowed me to add a level of professionalism to the position. The negotiation process improved with the facility's administration. The agenda (a list of issues to be discussed during the I.L.C. and administration meeting) was well written and carefully thought out. Understanding the role of the I.L.C. as being a bridge between the inmate population and the facility's administration, empowered me to approach each issue objectively and argue each point effectively as well as respectfully. I was often complimented on my communication skills by both my peers and facility administrators and staff.
As a Transitional Services program assistant, my skills as a facilitator grew. By incorporating outside material (i.e. current news and magazine articles, and books) I was able to enhance an antiquated manual. Phase III (which helped prepare individuals for upcoming release) became a pseudo- university class experience. Exploring various options and techniques suitable for career development, understanding the importance of money management, coming to terms with the shift of power highlighted in family reintegration, and obtaining the proper documents. Was the equivalent of a sophomore college course. Participants were challenged to think outside of the box, develop strategies to overcome obstacles they face upon release, and begin to use language conducive to their growth and development. I was able to emulate the teaching style of professor Mamiya, utilize class material from "Social Change in Black and Latino Communities", and help others to begin seeing their role in a positive future.
Since being released, I have sat on a panel with the discussion focused on education and incarceration. Although many are opposed to the idea of educating those who have committed crimes, saying it is like rewarding bad behavior with free degrees. I believe education allows a person to develop the necessary skills needed in a challenging world. Proper education provides one with the understanding of systems (i.e. social, technical, agricultural, etc.) allowing them to critically analyze an effective approach and make informed, rational decisions. It helps a person become a better father, mother, son, daughter, worker, community member, citizen. By not properly educating those incarcerated, we perpetuate the cycle of violence. If you teach them today, there's a greater chance fewer crimes will be committed tomorrow.
The transformative effects of higher learning has greatly improved my communication skills and thought process. I was once an individual with very limited skills and pessimistic outlook on life. Believing my chances of a brighter future were nil. Today, I can effectively express the various skills I possess, creating opportunities to develop more skills. My optimism allows me to embrace life with its many charms and challenges.Today, the static of ignorance is drowned out by "Proper education, proper speech!"
Runner Up - Andrew "Cory" Greene
I start writing this essay during a crucial point in my academic career; two days before my college graduation and five pages deep into my last 10-page assignment. As I think of the prompt, "How has Higher Education Changed my Life" and the word count restricting my expression, I ask myself what are the most obvious changes and significant opportunities in my life, that can be directly linked to my academic involvement? How do I quantify my experiences as an honors student at New York University?
Besides being educated and exposed to some of the most respected scholars in their fields, I have also had the privilege to grow as a student and human with some of the best undergraduate classmates in the country. In this experience, I have been blessed with the opportunity to also educate New York University in return. My mere presence in an institution of its magnitude helps complicate the racial dispraises in private universities while also challenging the perceived notions and images of formerly incarcerated individuals. I helped contextualized discussion and class lectures with unique references to both my urban and prison experiences. In doing so, I believe I added dimension and subjectivity to our flat and "objective" textbooks. Furthermore, my presence at New York University, both in and outside of the classroom, has contributed to the much larger work of re-humanizing the person with a criminal justice past and demonstrates to others the academic potential of formerly incarcerated students. "I" would like to further thank higher education for providing the formerly incarcerated movement, with the opportunity to move forward with our lives in a more meaningful way. Although colleges/universities' admissions and other stigmatizing practices at times participate in the oppression; nevertheless, higher education remains a pathway for us to explore opportunities and relationships.
How can I talk about the benefits of higher education without mentioning the laundry list of friends, classmates, mentors, mentees, professors, and organizations I have been fortunate enough to learn from on my journey towards scholarship? Each encounter and interaction has been meaningful and important to my journey as a student but also in my development as an activist and community leader. These conversations have traveled from huge psychological conferences in Orlando, Florida-to-documentary making in ¾ transitional housing in Brownsville Brooklyn-to-cheese and wine with university's professors and students. All-important, all inspiring, all incorporated into the statistical model of how higher education has changed my life and account for some of the variance.
I truly cannot engage in a conversation about how higher education and its effects on my life without highlighting my recent acceptance in an elite Ph.D. program. I am proud to have the opportunity, to earn my doctorate in psychology under the keen leadership and guidance of Dr. Roderick Watts and distinguish professor Dr. Michelle Fine. For the last year and half I have worked with them on important social issues, such as uncovering the complex relationship between the New York Police Department and New York City residents in the Bronx. The Morris Justice "stop and frisk" participatory project unites scholars, students, and community people collectively, were research is used to turn local problems into public policy. This exemplar emphasizes how higher education has expanded my learning opportunity far beyond the classroom and/or college campus.
Higher education continues to have an impact on my life, even my every day family interactions. For instance after a seven-year lay off, my wife was inspired to return to college were she is preparing to use her education for the good of the community. Now, our family time is also study time. Higher education has slowly but surely become the norm in the Greene's home. Most importantly, this has huge implications for my son's future. My course work, research initiatives, and fieldwork experiences have all exposed me to the political struggles at hand with public education. These understandings and expertise have all helped me navigate and better monitor my son's schoolwork in an era of high-stakes testing and school to prison pipelines.
None of the accomplishments mentioned thus far would have been possible if it were not for my first experiences with academia at LaGuardia Community College (LAGCC). Two days after my eight-year prison sentence I made my way to the front steps of LAGCC and begin moving towards the "dream". My two-year s at LAGCC can be summarized by the title of my first essay, "I Can Dream Again". The essay ventures back into my childhood experiences, reliving the nightmares of being raised by a drug addicted. The essay settles on the idea that back then, none of my dreams of a better life ever came true. This went on, until one day, I decided to give up on dreaming entirely. The essay then shifts to prison, where after years of introspective work and transformation, I am once again able to dream, no longer afraid to "dream", I "dream" about college. And after my successfully stint at LAGCC, not only can I "dream" again but I also know "dreams" can come true.
Higher education has extrinsically blessed me with opportunities and tangible awards. However, more importantly, higher education has left me with an intrinsic feeling of pride and appreciation that I attempt to reproduce in my social justice efforts. Higher education has provided me with a psychological lens to approach the ills and inequalities of society and apply critical and rigorous participatory research methods to engage in and create social change. As I make an exit towards the final line of this essay, I pivot and land on the idea that higher education has yet to truly reveal how it will ultimately change my life. As I transition onto the next chapter of academia-graduate studies-I look forward to finding out what else higher education has in store and in what other ways it will ultimately change my life.
